Font Size:
+-
I Can't Take You Anywhere: 6 Things Not To Do in China
Feb 21, 2012By Tom Ackerman, eChinacities.com RepostIf you are unfamiliar with China on your first visit here, or if you've lived here for ten years and just don't get out very often, you might not know how to behave around your eastern neighbours. China isn't as different as many people think, and foreigners do have a little leeway in their behaviour, but there are still a few things that can end up embarrassing, humiliating, unrewarding, unproductive or just plain damaging. For your perusal and edification, here are a few things not to do in China.
Photo: isforinsects
1) Get angry
China can be frustrating at times, but losing your temper with the shop owner or the customs official is not only bad form, but can lead to big problems. Despite the loss of much Chinese etiquette over the past century, many Chinese still respect discretion, manners and politeness. Though not as hyper-discreet as their Japanese neighbours, many people will respond to your anger with total non-cooperation. That's bad for you. Some will just get angry back. You could always counter-argue and say ‘Hey, Chinese lose their tempers too, so why should I care?’ but this argument hardly justifies screaming at the cabbie, nor does is do away with the obvious possible consequences. Besides, plenty of modern Chinese behaviour would leave Confucius rolling over in his grave.
2) Embarrass someone
China still respects honour, and honour is a public thing. It is best to be especially careful in China about embarrassing anyone or otherwise causing them to lose face. That includes disrespect, insult and criticism, among other things. If you need to communicate something negative in the most urgent and pressing way, it is better to do it in private. If you do it in front of others, it is humiliating.
3) Show it off
You have my sympathies if you think 100-degree heat and a humidity level nearing that of Jupiter is oppressive, but you'd definitely be put in a certain category if you trot through town baring your hulking chest. Not only do Chinese not seek out the tan like we do (most avoid it), but would look on such displays as either silly, or immodest, which in all fairness they are. Even in a village area, the only people I've seen shirtless on the street are a handful of labourers and a few toothless, card-playing old men drinking liquor. It's advisable to save the displays of upper-body for gruelling sports only, and when playing in the heat.
The same basic principle applies to women. Despite the 90-foot billboards of half-naked females to the contrary, most Chinese still respect the virtue of modesty, and would not look well on you dressing like Britney Spears. So unless you enjoy being ogled on the bus or approached by strange guys on the street, it's best to keep the clothes on. China is not a nudist colony.
4) Let your visa expire
Merely a few years ago, travel used to be easier in China for Westerners. These days they've decided to add more immigration rules. Slipping through the airport just a few days after the visa expires is not really going to happen. You will get fined for every day that you have overstayed, up to 500 RMB per day. That's real money. The obscenely-long overstays can even land you in immigration jail or banned from the country. I've read that some people manage to beg their way into grace periods, but I wouldn't count on it. Do not allow your visa to expire.
5) Get first and last names mixed up
Guys and gals – the family name goes first, the given name goes last. Try and get it right. It's not the biggest deal in the world, but some people do get sensitive if you mess with their names.
6) Know nothing about China
Chinese certainly don't expect you to be the experts, and often enjoy telling you about their country, but sounding like you know nothing about China really does sound like you don't care. Besides, why visit a country if you don't care about it? In my impression, Chinese seem quite pleased when I can tell them a few things about Chinese history or geography, or cuisine. So get excited about your visit and learn about where you're going. The current president of China, for starters, is Hu Jintao. The last one was Jiang....something-or-other.
Related Links
Making Travelling Part of the Adventure: Sleeper Buses in China
An Introduction to Planning Your Trip Around China
China Travel Necessities: Seven Forget-Me-Nots for China
- 20
- 7
You're wrong about a few things-
You have every right to show displeasure and emotion.
Simply, try to be as courteous as possible.
Pretending everything is wonderful when it's not is stupid.
No one can be immune to embarrassing , not even the sacred Chinese
It is much better to lose face than integrity.
Everything cannot be sweetness and light when you deal with the garbage that is TIC..
But, it's most important to give praise when it's due.
Tell it like it is, but do it with love.
- 7
- 13
It might make you feel better Dano, but it is counter productive in China.
- 12
- 1
No, It does work.
And telling an idiot he is an idiot- (or as one time when i threatened a driver to beat his ass and leave him by the side of the road) actually works.
phony "bu zhi dao" does work on me.
I read body language quite well thank you...
And that same driver, from that day onward, because I stood up to him, he and I became good friends.
So it was VERY productive.
But, like some other readers said this is simply recycled garbage ... to keep protecting stupidity.
- 7
- 2
That would be his problem , not mine.
You see, The Army trained me well.
- 3
- 7
I'm curious... When has getting angry ever improved a situation? Did it improve your blood pressure? When has embarrassing someone in front of others improved your relation with that person? I'm so glad the Army trained you well. I'm thinking they didn't train you for everyday encounters with the civilian populace.
I'm retired Navy. I've also been well trained in empty hand combat, and have used it in the course of my duties to lethal effect. That doesn't mean I go around flaunting it. I have found that learning some of the local language goes much further than requiring the locals to speak English. Learning about the customs of the people and treating them with respect does much to improve the way they view other Americans. I gained about 40 friends by simply going to the local park in the morning and doing taiji with them, even though I wasn't familiar with the particular form they were doing.
I think it may be better for US relations with other countries if you just didn't go abroad any more. From the way you write here, it seems you are one of the examples of the "Ugly American" I often hear about when I visit other countries.
- 4
- 0
It improved my situation on the spot.
I try to give folks every chance to explain themselves...
But when they don't I keep a can of WA on the ready.
I don't give a good bowel movement about nice talk when nice talk does not get the job done.
This is hypocritical to let folks pul the BU ZHI DAO card when ever they feel like NOT doing something .
Either you are naive or worse to think that you don't need to take an aggressive posture from time. I don't think that you are naive , so that leaves a few other choices-
And worldly wise is not one of them
- 17
- 1
How many times is this site gonna publish the same article??? it seems like twice a week someone is writing about not making the chinese " lose face" or that getting angry is useless. Is there not an editor in the house???
- 21
- 0
I'm sure there is an editor but in true Chinese fashion they are probably getting paid to have lunch and dinner with VIPs and to take business trips.
Just to clear something up about the article. You are allowed to scream and shout if you are:
a) Government official
b) Own a car
c) Old or middle aged woman
d) An annoying 'I'm the most important and completely spoilt' kid
e) Just plain better than the person you are shouting at, probably because you own three apartments and enjoy running people over in your car
- 15
- 0
My experience is that the only way to get through to people here sometimes is to get angry. Chinese 'leaders" are so used to people doing exactly what they're told and putting up with crap silently that the only time they ever really listen is when folks finally can't take it any more and get angry. There have been more than 100,000 "mass incidents" in China over the past few years because people are finally beginning to learn that sometimes getting angry is the only way to solve a problem. Not EVERY time, mind you, but sometimes.
- 19
- 0
i agree with some of your points dano, i would add one thing. if honor was so important, then why so much blatent lieing , cheating and scammi9ng to your face. i'm a human being and i have integrity, if you try to scam me, i gonna call you out on it and shine a light on it so others dont get screwed.
- 1
- 2
Over staying in china the book role you only need to pay from 50 yuan, up wards why they always try to get as much money as they can.
In the west and even in Africa the price thing is fixed so there is no corroption.
- 12
- 3
some years they would have begged foreigners to come to china as they r brainless, spitting, garbage making robots and now to get visa is almost impossible. well my little friends, you will suck when less and less laowai come here. u r nothing but copy machines.
- 19
- 0
The same regurgitation of old stale stories! Chinese have become so sacred that the world is reminded everyday what not to do to them.The Chinese themselves must be laughing out their lungs at this frivolousness we keep harping about.It is no secret that Chinese themselves are more than confrontational.For those who understand Chinese,immediately you come across two or more Chinese on the way,the first thing that comes out of their mouths is to describe your physical qualities,in very unflattering terms.They like judging people from their looks.This is a turn off that they themselves don't want to get rid of.Words like "da","lao","chou",and "hei","gui",for blacks are continuously used on foreigners.The same group will want you to smile to them,even if you heard them making a mockery of you.If you are insulting to others,and treat them as trash,why do you expect them to prostrate themselves when ever they see you.Chinese should know that more and more foreigners understand those gratuitous insult thrown at them for no reason than to belittle them,and they should not expect respect in return.If there's too much pressure in their lives,and they think they can take it out on others,I think they will always get a cold reception from foreigners.The longer people live in China,the more they prefer keeping to themselves than mix with people who can't even take a joke,but openly involve themselves in provocative language.
- 2
- 1
It is common in other countries, besides China, to insult foreigners when it is believed they don't understand what is being said. I've played a bit of a game with my wife, who is Chinese, while visiting France. The waiter there was making very rude comments about my wife, while I translated them to her in Mandarin, acting as though we were engaged in our own conversation. When it had gone far enough, I let her loose on him, as I translated her Mandarin to French, again, just as though I was in conversation with the waiter. The shock on his face, as well as the surprise on the faces of other patrons, was priceless. For some reason, I never heard another unkind word about my wife when we visited that restaurant.
- 3
- 2
Lao Lang... OWNED. Why would you even patronize that restaurant again? You don't go pissing off people that handle your food, even if you had a good reason. You get up and leave. Yes...it is just as chickenshit when French talk smack in front of others thinking that you don't understand what they're saying. Doesn't make it any less common here in China.
I didn't sign up for any ambassadorship. I give good for good and bad for bad. So spare us the Dale Carnegie "How To Make Friends" lecture. That doesn't apply here much. Not all of us have been neutered by a Chinese wife and shrink from any confrontation.
- 1
- 1
Dano, at no time did either of us raise our voices. We spoke as though in normal conversation. Anger did not enter into it.
Harry, once it was understood that I spoke French almost as well as they did, we got along well. "neutered by a Chinese wife"? Hardly. But, then, where is it written that women aren't allowed to be as strong as men? "shrink from any confrontation"? No. There are many ways to confront without losing your temper and releasing a string of profanity. Obviously you did not fully understand what occurred at the restaurant. (Btw, it happened to be the best one in the area.)
- 3
- 1
Since you are surely more evolved than the rest of us neanderthals I am still unable to fathom why you would remain in a restaurant where you were shown disrespect just because they served the finest escargot in Paris.
I am very comfortable with the idea of strong women. I have no doubt that your wife is stronger than you are.
I'm going to stick with dano and the fact that there are situations where being "civil" just aren't going to fix the problem and sometimes you need to deal with people in the only way they understand. I can give you a whole slew of my own personal experience....but some of us....you know... have jobs. And you better figure out that when shit hits the fan, you're on your own. Nobody is going to help you. Of course...you can always call your Chinese wife to come down and negotiate a civilized, win-win "face saving' solution where you give some cash to somebody that broke a beer bottle over your head and you had to defend yourself.
- 10
- 0
2 weeks ago I got a heater-
yesterday it doesn't work...TIC?
You betcha! Phony Quality Control...QC
To my Chinese friends:
If imitation is the best form of flattery , please please try imitating something that works!
- 8
- 0
Ridiculous article.
- 13
- 1
Absolute stupidest article ever. Thanks for stealing a moment out of my life I'll never get back.
- 8
- 0
I guess you have never been to northeastern China - Changchun or Shenyang in particular - during the summer.The part about not showing skin is ridiculous. If you want to see just about every Chinese man in the city topless - ALL shapes, sizes, and ages - or at least with their short rolled up to their shoulders, it would be your time to visit.
- 5
- 4
I'm not sure about different parts of China for men but there does seem to be differences depending on where you are regarding shirts on or off.
I would like to point out however, the female side of that statement. Chinese women are the biggest wh*res I have ever seen in summer time. When I first came to China, in fact, I asked if a few of them (in VERY short shorts and big black boots) were hookers. In fact, they were just average women.... When it comes to the upper part of the body, women should cover their shoulders in China or you will be looked at, however, stomach and legs(as much as you like) is completely normal in any part of China.
- 5
- 3
tish you're an asshAle. women are whores becoz of how they dress?? what planet are you from? just because a woman wears revealing clothing doesnt mean she's your mother.
BACK
